We went to couples counselling last Wednesday. Great doctor. Even tough she just talked to us separately I felt a little lighter. It was weird because I was upset because I didn’t get to talk to him, but at the same time talking to her, the doctor, made me feel better.
So she said that he is an alcoholic and doesn’t admits it. That all the cheating and lying comes from that and that she doesn’t think they slept together…that it’s an emotional affair because they are both alcoholics. She also said that she understood completely if I wanted to end it…but that the only thing that would motivate him to get help is not to lose me.
Well, I’ve been thinking about that since then. I even took a break from the fighting and this was a quiet weekend. I even invited him for a walk on the beach so we could talk. The problem was that once again I was the only one talking. I asked him again if he still thought that it was ok to love that woman (like he said once…I love her differently than you…what’s the problem?). He said no this time, but I felt like we was just saying what I want to hear.
According to the doctor all this is because he is an alcoholic, but…he is not drinking all the time. All those texts happened when he was sober, so I can understand that a big part of the problem could be due to alcoholism. But it can’t be an excuse for everything. I checked the times and it was during working hours…how can alcoholism explain that.
So he feels better with her, understood because she drinks?