Or better yet, after all this, how can I wish this never happened? It’s so difficult because he is still in my house. I see him and I truly wish this never happened. That he never fell in love with Maritza, that he didn’t lie to me, that he didn’t break my heart.
I miss him, my husband when he loved me, I miss his jokes, his tenderness, his passion. It’s all gone now. I miss being loved by him.
I’ve been working out a lot, finally after so many years I’m losing weight. Ironic no? Well at least I’m keeping healthy. But while I was trying to relax I had a hard time trying to quite down my mind. It was going 100 miles per hour, how can this be? I want him to be in love with me not Maritza…I don’t want to hurt anymore.
I go home and I can feel him tense up as soon as I walk through the door. He is avoiding me and if I try to speak to him, it’s like he is recoiling…like the snake he is.
I’m so nervous right now because in a few hours we will be in couples counselling. What for? This is over…why go then? Because it’s my last hope that he might admit and explain why?